ChatGPT or a Therapist? Support for Overwhelmed Mothers

It’s the middle of the night, the world is asleep, so you seek the comfort of your trusted phone. How can I get my child to sleep through the night? Why am I struggling to switch off? Have I made the right choice about going back to work?

We know how our minds can spin at 1 am. Maybe you used to turn to online forums – kind of helpful. But now, at your fingertips, you have ChatGPT, available 24/7 as a source of support.

There’s something comforting about having something that can respond to you at all hours (I know, I’ve been there too). And sometimes, it can be genuinely helpful. However, you might find yourself on there for hours, going round in circles, seeking different opinions or reassurance.

Have you ever finished a long chat session feeling strangely numb? It feels productive, but where did the time go? And do you actually feel any better? Have you noticed how one question leads to another, drawing you into a lengthy journey of contemplation you never intended to embark on?

While AI can help us think through a problem, sometimes we don’t need another perspective or another question to contemplate. And sometimes, when we repeatedly seek external answers or reassurance, we can find ourselves getting further away from listening to our own intuition. The truth is, while AI can sometimes be helpful, what we might really be craving is someone who can deeply understand us.

In my work as a counsellor, I often find that what a mother initially brings to therapy isn’t the full story. As I listen to her, I reflect back not only what I hear her say, but what else might be there, too. Perhaps she is trying so hard to be a great mum – researching the latest nutritious snacks for her toddler, reading the parenting books and trying to make the right decisions. But underneath her words, there is an exhaustion and sadness that she hasn't quite been able to express. As we create space for her to be fully heard and understood, we can begin to hold both her longing to be a great mum and her exhaustion at being so worn out and depleted. Slowly, we start to get closer to what's actually happening for her.

Rather than telling a client what to do, my work as a counsellor is about listening and helping her connect with her inner experience. In our busy modern world, the quiet voice within can be difficult to hear. And as a mother, it can feel like there is so much pressure to have it all together and be loving every minute that deeper feelings can easily get pushed down.

Often, when we create space for the fullness of her experience, she can let down the façade. This is where the deeper work begins. She starts to hear her own voice and is given permission to feel her feelings. Yes, you can absolutely love your baby or child while also finding long days of mothering alone really hard.

Together, we begin to explore the assumptions she holds about motherhood and what a 'good mother' looks like, where these ideas come from, and whether they fit with her own life and values. Slowly, we start to explore what motherhood might look like with her included in the picture.

So, while AI has its place, perhaps it’s worth asking yourself whether you really need another answer or outside perspective, or whether what you need is space to understand what you’re feeling and what really matters to you.

If you are looking for support from a counsellor who specialises in motherhood and takes a non-pathologising approach, I'd love to hear from you. You can get in touch here or book an online session here.